Stared at my wifes face for the entire duration of the phone call with mother last night as she told us her brother has lung cancer that has spread throughout his brain. So sad. Such a gentle man. Jennifer’s face is all that got me thru it. And someday we will call our kids cause we’ll be sick and dying. But all I need is her face. Forever. Please don’t ever take that...
Pet Peeve: Repeating Numbers
If you ask my phone/social/account number on the phone and then repeatedly interupt me saying something like “ok” while I’m giving what you asked for and then ask me to repeat the numbers you just talked over… Uh, yeah Nice Jude goes away so don’t do that.
Here's the thing...: O Kansas. →
aimee-b-loved: So, I was watching Flock of Dodos - a documentary on the teaching of evolution vs intelligent design in public schools debate - and feeling pretty down about Kansas. It’s pretty rough on our school board (and rightfully so, I think). And it made me sad. I’m a Kansan. I was born here. I was raised…
Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
Put in two white tea packets in my water bottle, fill with water, shake and somethings way off. Hot water. Now the tea inside my water bottle looks like piss and FEELS like piss. Bottoms up.
Watch Me Run
Sometimes when I think I saw something move out of the corner of my eye, I stare at it forever to make sure its not those demon shadows from Ghost coming to get me. Then I fucking turn on every light so there’s no shadows as I run my ass up outa there.
If it isn't broke.... →
ryangigous: A friend pointed this out to me today. My first thought was why now? At the end of the piece it states, “Through the revolution in the industry, advocates of the bill said, about half the state’s liquor stores would close” So, what is the reason why we want to kill so many jobs? Again, why do we want to change existing policy? What is the benefit for the people? Given the economic...
I'm 5'10" wide
And 5’10” tall
Me to 19 month old: “do you have to Potty?” She smiles, goes to her potty chair, sits, hears the intro to Elmo, runs to the TV and pisses down her leg. Note to self: mute TV during training sessions, subject easily distracted.
KARL: The Beard Rules →
karlfundenberger: I am not saying that some specific beard rules, I am actually stating some rules about beards, or maybe I should just say rough outlines, not necessarily official regulations. Hey let’s get to it: I can’t understand why everyone in their 20s have beards these days. You don’t get to have a beard…
This Is Why
This is why we can have nice things but I can’t DO anything with my fammily or friends. My train was pushed back from 1am to 4am and now it’s 11am, maybe? They pay me as I sit in a hotel room hotel room and miss everything. On top of not feeling well, Jen hurt herself yesterday and needed a break from the babies. Tadhg rolled over for the first time on his own yesterday. Then...
Gwyneth Paltrow did her best acting when her head was in that box.
Gonna Make It.
Got off the train and turned on my phone to check the score only to see the game was pushed back to 2. On my way to the hotel. I’m gonna make kickoff.
7 and a half hours till the Bears Game
It’s 281 miles to Galesburg, we have 4,000 gallons of fuel, it’s dark and I’m wearing sunglasses.
When you call a girl fat or ugly, it's engraved...
Remember This Post If They Find Me Dead
According to Wii Fit I’m overweight but have the agility of a 29 yr old. Jennifer, because what they say is true about a woman in her mid thirties, has the libido of a teenage jack rabbit. This prolly explains the agility part but I think she’s trying to kill me.
My Posts Hate Me
My Cow post from a few hours ago said it hates me cause if I had a vagina it would have gotten 30 hearts instantly not 3. “This all your fault stupid penis”
It’s never going to get better.– The Zit on my 38yr old face to my teenage daughter
Wanting To Help
When I see all of the poor cows outside in this bitter cold it makes me wish I could warm each of them up in my belly.
A Huge Anonymous Compliment
Someone plowed our driveway this morning. Not shoveled. Not with a snowblower. With a machine or truck. You can tell by the fact that they didn’t get right up to the garage doors and that they also moved the snow wall the street plows erected in front of our drive in case we are invaded. My jeep could get over that wall but jens car couldn’t. None of the neighbors houses were...
Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline...– Henry Miller. From the life affirming fountain of Whiskey River. (via yourdreamswillcome)
@pocket contents / @califmom
You’re going to have to wait a little bit longer but here in Kansas, it’s past midnight which means today is your husbands Birthday. I don’t expect this to carry to much weight cause I barely fuckin know you thru tumblr/twitter and not at all in real life… yet. Regardless, your writing of your life/husband affects me. And Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck. I fucking hate it. I hate that you are in pain. I...
Pulling out your earbud so you can hear your wife in a snowstorm is polite. Putting it back in still caked in snow the best way for a cold ass wet willy you dumbass.
Gonna Get Pounded
B: what's small, delicate, melts when you touch it and tonight you are going to get Pounded and Hammered by it?
J: your penis.
B: no.... well yeah but really? wow. Yeah, no see what I meant was... forget it. Really? Wow.
... You Are The Father
We have a full family. We have an 8 seater Chevy Traverse in which every seat is taken. We can’t fit anymore kids. But. I can’t get snipped. I just can’t. It would greatly reduce my hopes of having to be on Maury. In which after hearing the results (either way) I can run a short distance and throw myself into a face plant on the floor. Letting go of that dream is...
Everybody can be great, because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a...– Dr Martin Luther King Jr This is the only thing that will soothe what ails this country, a sense of shared responsibility for ourselves and our neighbors. When we start to do that, we will remember who we are and what once made this country great.
The Midwest’s Hellen Mirren sitting across from me has given me the smile and eyes. Twice. I’m happily married but you go ‘head with your sexy GILF self.
I’m deadheading on Amtrak from KC to Galesburg and doing my best to honor a great man and his beliefs. But it ain’t easy. As we were begining to board I bumped this white lady’s suitcase and she looked back at it, then at me, then at the men standing around me. The men with me, fellow railroaders are all good men that happen to not be white. She then continued to look back at...
Who is Trent Reznor?– @jenrq
My Kid: did you just doo doo?
Me: I just doo doo the doo doo that I doo doo so well
Parenting like a boss
YOU SAW NOTHING
You didn’t just read something that hasn’t happened. Move on. Nothing was said. Goodbye. Go. What?
The forces that divide us are not as strong as the forces that unite us– President Obama
Please Bruno Mars
Don’t jump in front of my train. I’ll squish you. And next time don’t sing about either. We already learned earlier this week what a careless suggestion can result in. 19 shot, 6 dead.
In The Hotel
Not tired. Bored. Alone.